If i could tip my vagina, i would.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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