Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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