At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
