am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
