My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
