i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
