Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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