he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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