I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
