Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
