yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
