my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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