whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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