I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
