I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
