Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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