No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
