dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
