i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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