piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
