Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
