wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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