I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize