Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
