no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
