I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
