Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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