Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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