There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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