the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
