Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
