Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
