this boner is exhausting
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
