we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
