God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
