Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
