please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
