is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
