I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
