so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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