never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My pussy is not your playground.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
