Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Porn is love you can see.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
