Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
