Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
