There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
