Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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