So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
ok first of all what the fuck
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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