Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
