: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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