This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
