You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize