We're like a lot better than the average bears
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
