this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
