thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
