She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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