wanna go halves on a baby?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
