I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
